Jack and the Year 2000
Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years
of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur
by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he
was finally getting some respect. He'd become a private consultant
specializing in Year 2000 conversions.
Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its
toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000.
All he could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and
all that came with it.
Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics.
He made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. The
next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after
the New Year celebrations and computer debacles; after the leap
day. Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life.
He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the
revive date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a
bare minimum, and that was that.
The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room
filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I can't
believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!". There were
cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment that looked like
it came out of a science fiction movie.
Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped
forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is it over?" he
asked. "Is the year 2000 already here? Are all the millennial
parties and promotions and crises all over and done with?"
The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the
programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't
been year 2000 compliant. It was actually eight thousand years
later, not the year 2000. Technology had advanced to such a degree
that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to
contact anyone else on the planet.
"That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is
everybody so interested in me?"
"Well," said the spokesman. "The year 10000 is just around the
corner, and it says in your files that you know COBOL".